We went “home” for the Christmas Holiday this year. I say “home” because this is the first Christmas we’ve gone back to the US after we sold our house and most of our belongings and relocated to London.
Our miniature Christmas tree from Japan…Now relocated to our home in London
During the 4-1/2 years we lived in Japan, we went back to the US for Christmas all but one year. But it was back to our house, where our daughter was living. It was different, being in our house but our daughter’s home, but still familiar.
Then when we came back from Japan, we moved back into our house. But the Christmases in 2020 and 2021 were impacted by COVID, so not really “normal.” In 2022, the family did gather in our house for what we later would realize would be the last time.
This year, we all spent the days before Christmas together in two rented cabins at a local state park. It was nice, and I think everyone enjoyed it. It was very different for us, but maybe not as difficult as we thought it might be coming back “homeless” in the US for the first time.
One of our daughters graciously hosted everyone for Christmas brunch at her home, and it was wonderful. And we stayed with her for the short time before our return to London. Our other daughter in Atlanta hosted her brother and sister and their families, taking over the role we have played as a place for the family to gather for a few days.
All in all, we enjoyed this Christmas holiday. It was very different, but we still are thankful for the time together and the many, many blessings we have.
With Christmas over, our family is again dispersing… some to the Northeast, some in the Atlanta area, and us back to London.
We all have rich memories of growing up as a family… of celebrations in three different family homes over the years. Now we are making new memories, as the next chapters of all our lives unfold.
It is so tempting to dwell on the times gone by, and the memories we would like to revisit… and maybe even sadness or regrets about the things/places we no longer have. And there is a place for that, but not for too long. The future is before us and we must make it the best we can… as individuals, as our separate families, and as the “big” family that has grown up and matured over the last four decades.
After nearly eight years as an expat, travel remains somewhat of an enigma.
Airplane view leaving Tokyo on a December afternoon
On the one hand, it is amazing to be in different places. I have been fortunate to work for an international company, with offices worldwide and interests across the globe. This has enabled me to see places in the world I never imagined I would go. Seeing and experiencing the different cultures, lifestyles, and geography has been fascinating, and the COVID years of travel interruption only accentuated the almost addictive nature of travel.
That said, being in different places is amazing. Getting there, not so much. Getting there often involves long bouts of air travel, punctuated by shorter but just as essential ground transportation. Both can be interesting, challenging, tiring, and sometimes just plain annoying.
Trains, buses and even cars are essential parts of the travel plan
Having lived several years in Japan and now in the United Kingdom, air travel often involves long-haul flights. My company defines that as anything over four hours in the air. In practice, I’ve found the four or five hour flights to be, for the most part, easy and none too difficult. It’s the longer flights – eight, 10, 15 hours or more – that become more considerable.
Over the years of travel, my wife and I have become rather adept at managing our movements from place to place. Booking flights has become more routine (aided by my company’s travel agency, and airline frequent-flyer programmes). We’ve learned to pack efficiently and get by quite nicely with relatively little luggage. Increased airport security has made travel more difficult over the years, but we’ve learned the system and generally get by with a minimum of hassle and delay. To a degree, it is like many other things in life. Resist and things become more difficult and annoying. Learn the system and accept it, and travel gets marginally easier.
For the most part, we travel in what the airlines typically call “premium economy” – an oxymoron to be sure, but generally what I find to be the best compromise between the more comfortable first/business class, and the cattle-car-like confines of coach.
Although my company will allow use of business class, most of the time I just can’t justify the cost. Air transportation is expensive and seems to be even more so since the pandemic. A long-haul flight can cost upwards of $10,000 US dollars in business class, compared to around $3,000 for the same flight in premium economy. For the extra $7000 you get a seat that reclines fully flat, making sleep somewhat more possible, along with a bigger TV screen and better food. Personally, I can usually tolerate a bit less comfort for a few hours for a big cost savings for the company. And for personal travel that I pay for from my own pocket, there really isn’t any choice. I’ll tolerate a few hours of discomfort, thank you very much.
On this flight, while flying over the pole, we got a rare view of the northern lights
I have to give credit to the flight attendants. On most airlines and most flights, the flight attendants work very hard to make the flight as comfortable as possible. They put up with a lot, including rude and self-obsessed passengers. And typically they do it with a smile, from the boarding of passengers through meal services, to landing many hours later. Can’t be an easy task, to be sure.
One rant about the airlines, in two words. Reclining seats. In premium economy and even more so in coach, reclining seats are a bad idea. You have precious little room in your space on the plane to begin with. When the bozo in front of you reclines, you end up with a seat back in your face (and in coach, often in your knees, too). Most passengers are too self-absorbed to care about any discomfort they cause anyone else. Why the airlines continue to pack seats closer and closer together, but still provide reclining seatbacks, is beyond my understanding.
All in all, airline travel is a necessity. It is, particularly for long-distance travel, the fastest way between two points. It is safe, reasonably predictable, and usually dependable. Of course, there are the occasional delays, unexpected cancellations, and the added challenge of connections from one flight to another. But airlines make the world accessible in a way that never used to be possible.
And although the “getting there” is sometimes uncomfortable and annoying, the “being there” makes it all worthwhile.
It is almost six months since we arrived here at our London apartment in Canary Wharf. December here is often gray, damp, and chilly. The days are getting shorter… already the sun sets before 4 pm, and doesn’t rise until nearly 8 am! Even on sunny days, the angle of the sun from the horizon is so low that at noon the light looks more like late afternoon does during Atlanta winters. We have traveled so many times to the UK over the years, but we never before noticed how dim the light is, and how short the days. It takes a bit of getting used to!
I have to admit, in this blogpost, that there are many things about this move to London that we are *still* getting used to. No… we don’t have any serious regrets. We still like London, and we still think this was a good change for us. But… it is taking longer to acclimate than we expected.
When we moved to Tokyo in January 2016, it seemed much easier in integrate into our new surroundings. I know that seems like an odd thing to say since *everything* about moving to Japan was new and different. We couldn’t even speak the language… and we stood out very obviously as “foreigners.” Evenso, we always felt comfortable with the culture, and we enjoyed the adventure of immersing ourselves in such a new and different place.
Here in London, the official language is English, and we have no trouble communicating. (I will say… again, though… that despite English being the official language here, when we are out and about, we hear more foreign languages than English. London is such a cultural melting pot… the most “international” city we have ever experienced!) Of course there are many differences between American culture and British culture… but nothing too hard to adapt to.
When we moved to Japan, we knew we would be there only temporarily, and that we would absolutely be returning to the US. We had a house, cars, possessions… and of course family anchoring us to the United States. After 4 1/2 years, though, I think we would have gladly stayed in Tokyo if we could have. But the visa ran out, and we had to go “home.”
When we decided to accept the job here in UK, we felt we were ready to downsize and get rid of a lot of the *things* that were tying us to the US. We thought we would feel freer and lighter without all the stuff of our US lives.
And… we do. Very much so. But… it can also be a very unsettling feeling.
All those *things* that were tethering us to the United States, also gave us a sense of security… a feeling that we still had a *place* there. Now we don’t have a place, and it sometimes makes us feel a little bit lost.
The thing about anchors… yes… they tie you down, and can keep you from moving forward… but, they also provide stability. We sometimes feel like we have been set adrift. A weird feeling.
Again… we are not at all regretting the decision to come here. We still think that selling our home and most of our possessions was the right thing to do. But six months into this, it still feels… funny.
In a couple of weeks, we will be traveling back “home for the holidays”… except that it isn’t our *home* right now. We will be staying as guests with family. From our home being the family gathering place in past years, we find ourselves as guests at someone else’s home. It will be fine… we will enjoy our time with family (we even have a new grandchild to visit) but it will still seem strange.
As we are approaching retirement, we wanted to make our lives more “portable” and be less tied down to things. But all that “lightness” and “freedom” also takes some getting used to.
Four Years in Japan ... and now Three Years in London 